Twitter Request Line, Vol. 274

The GOAT game show and host
Photo Credit: Jeopardy.com

It’s Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can’t restrain me, fool! If you don’t know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

1. Jeopardy – I was smart, and Jeopardy was a show where smart people were the contestants. What else could you want? (Get well soon, Alex Trebek)

2. Double Dare – Kinda like Jeopardy but with a lot more slime. Plus, Harvey the PA guy was a DJ on WMGK in Philly.

3. Wheel of Fortune – It’s fun to yell at people overthinking solving a puzzle, way more fun than you’d think.

4. Guy’s Grocery Games – It’s got the edge over Chopped because Guy Fieri is affable and the judges aren’t throbbing penises, and that’s even with overlap between the shows!

5. American Gladiators – It was enough like pro wrestling for me to like it and just different enough to have a hook.

Saturday Night Live saying they wanted to cater to a “conservative audience” is pretty rich given the show had Donald Trump host in the midst of his primary campaign for the Republican nomination to be President and they caved HARD when Dan Crenshaw whined and cried about them lampooning him on the show. But pretending those things didn’t happen, I’m not sure why SNL should’ve been in the market for anyone but whom they’ve been hiring over the years. Comedy done in service of conservatism is only funny if you like seeing the powerful punch down at marginalized folks. Asian people already have it rough enough over here without dude pretending to be one and badly.

What this Shane Gillis thing shows is that SNL doesn’t give a fuck. Just because they haven’t had to vet their cast before now doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have done it for everyone from Chevy Chase and Bill Murray down to all the way down to Gillis. It’s not only morally right, but unfortunately, the biggest reason to do it is so you don’t lose sponsorship money. If you’re going to push the boundaries, why not hire a leftist comedian? I guess Barack Obama wouldn’t return their calls in that case, but hey, you can’t win ’em all.

It is asinine to start tanking in the beginning of the season, like the Dolphins are. You put together a competent roster and who knows, maybe the Patriots turn into a MASH unit and you can win the division at 9-7. The probability is low, but it could happen. If not, maybe everyone else in the conference beats the hell out of each other, you get a wild card, somehow, say, Baltimore beats the Pats in the divisional round, and you beat, say, the AFC South Champ and the Chiefs in consecutive rounds. Football is the second easiest sport to make a run in after hockey. Now, if you’re the team that turns into a MASH unit, and you find out your gambit at taking, say, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Josh Rosen as a franchise quarterback fails? Then it makes sense to tank around Week Six or later. There’s so much variance in football, and because the season is 16 games instead of 82 or 162, you can have a team that on paper is out of the top 12 in talent, sneak into the playoffs, and make an improbable run. You don’t tank until you know the season’s lost.

Protected user @earthdog asks:

If I won the lottery this week and gave you a job as a full time daily Podcaster, different topic each day of the week, what are the themes of these five podcasts?

I had an idea similar to this if I ever hit the lottery and decided to do podcasts for a living instead of working.

MONDAY – The Holzerman Hungers Scrodcast – A deep dive into eating, food, and anything culinary
TUESDAY – The Wrestling Podcast – The bread and butter show, first edition
WEDNESDAY – The Super Sports Hour – Talking with a guest each week about happenings in sports, mostly football, but other stuff too
THURSDAY – The Wrestling Podcast – Second weekly edition
FRIDAY – Shit on a Shingle – A podcast concept I had where I’d just talk to a guest doing a project about their passions over a plate of diner cream chipped beef from a random Philly diner

Maybe I could sub out the second The Wrestling Podcast for something else, but honestly, why would I?

Boy Scout Camp with the boy in August was fun for many reasons. The food was not one of them. I refrained from eating the grossest-looking stuff, but I tried the pizza we had for lunch the second day we were there. Pizza, how could anyone fuck up pizza? Let me tell you, that pizza I choked down there was nasty. The cheese was burnt hard, and it wasn’t even midgrade cheese where if it is browned it’s crunchy and delicious. No. The sauce wasn’t liquid anymore. The crust, I don’t even wanna talk about the crust. Next year, I’m bringing a hoagie tray.

I think they are. USA Network has been generous with declining ratings with RAW so I can see them giving leeway to NXT. I also think NXT might even grow its audience. Who knows. But I don’t see it as TNA jumping to Monday nights in 2010. Rather, it’s World Championship Wrestling starting Monday Nitro back when RAW wasn’t really that big a deal. I’d say they’ll both be head-to-head with each other in 2022 too, unless the world ends by then. It just might.

The worst part of the 2018 booth, Jason Witten, is gone and playing football again. Joe Tessitore and Booger McFarland are in the booth now, but while Witten was terrible, I’m not sure McFarland was much better? I haven’t watched a game this year and I probably won’t unless the Eagles are playing (Mondays are for Switch and catching up on wrestling). Tessitore is a decent enough PBP guy but not enough to overcome the dumb storyline talking points ESPN gives to him. Overall, Monday Night Football would be better off not existing, but I’m also biased to the fact that Red Zone should have as many games playing at both 1 PM and 4 PM windows as possible.

Honestly, I think if you want to put on a wrestling show, you have to be able to afford the expenses. That means paying all the wrestlers fair wages, having a ring and not having to borrow one from a pedophile, paying off for a good venue, ensuring concessions, and then making sure the venue is safe. If that sounds expensive, it is. But it SHOULD be expensive to keep dipshits like the dudes behind Canuck Pro or whatever shitdick shindie promotion ends up on blast from an indie wrestler every other week from putting on a charade and trying to play small business tyrant without the backing of money. Hell, people WITH money shouldn’t play small business tyrant either, but I’m a socialist. I don’t believe in wealth anyway.

But gear is a whole other game. Should a wrestling promotion have to pay in full or subsidize cost for gear that a wrestler will use on other shows that aren’t theirs? It’s a tricky question that I want to say “yes” to but realize that maybe you should show the promoters a little consideration. That being said, if you’re big enough that you can make a wrestler sign a contract with you, whether it be exclusive or not, you should pay for gear. That goes for Ring of Honor, Impact Wrestling, and Major League Wrestling. It goes double for New Japan Pro Wrestling and All Elite Wrestling.

It goes A MILLIONFOLD for WWE, and it is disgusting that a company that makes billions in revenue is making its talent pay for their own gear. Maybe instead of donating to Donald Trump or starting vanity football leagues, make sure your wrestlers, who you pride as the best in the world to do this, have the gear they need to look the best and that will protect them the best. The fact that WWE doesn’t fully pay for gear makes me so mad that I’m not answering anymore questions. Oh wait, this is the last one? Lucky me, I suppose.

What’d You Do, Minoru Suzuki?

Did Suzuki make a mistake by removing Liger’s mask?
Photo Credit: NJPW1972.com

Minoru Suzuki is one of the most feared men in wrestling, not just New Japan Pro Wrestling, but all of the industry. He acts like his reputation allows, attacking his targets at will, bending the rules, assaulting referees, intentionally disqualifying himself to make a point. Whether he’s in the right or the wrong morally, he knows that in what he can get away with, he’s untouchable because might equals right in the lawless jungle that is pro wrestling. While he doesn’t conquer every challenge put in front of him, like his failed IWGP World Championship attempt at Kazuchika Okada in England, nothing in his path is something he necessarily feels the need to fear.

However, should he act like he has impunity? He may have no reason to fear his latest feud partner, fellow old man wrestler Jushin “Thunder” Liger in his normal form. However, at Monday’s Destruction in Kagoshima show, Suzuki may have bitten off more than he could chew. In an eight-man tag match where he teamed with fellow Suzuki-gun members Zack Sabre, Jr, DOUKI, and Yoshinobu Kanemaru against Liger, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe, and Tomoaki Honma, he tempted fate. He removed Liger’s mask. While it seemed like he had the last laugh, sitting besmirked with Liger’s iconic mask in his hand while the soon-to-be-retired legend of the ring crawled away, flanked by Young Lions and towel over his head, he might have sealed his own destruction.

Liger has a rarely-appearing alter-ego that comes out when his mask or hair are damaged or removed. Kishin Liger, with a face painted like he was a member of a black metal band and armed with the poison mist of the first person who dared cross him, Keiji Mutoh, is a far more violent incarnation of the legendary wrestler. You would think that Suzuki would have learned, because the last time Kishin came out, it was at the goading from members of his stable, Taichi and TAKA Michinoku to be specific. Taichi is still around. Michinoku hasn’t left as much as he’s nursing an injury. You’d think they’d have strenuously urged their boss not to cross Liger with extreme measures. Yet here they are, ready for a hellish demon to come for them.

The action ensures that the eventual match between Liger and Suzuki will be violent, potentially bloody, and most likely cathartic. Whether it happens at King of Pro Wrestling in October or if they delay it out to the Tokyo Dome on January 4 and 5, it will not be for the faint of heart. To be honest though, it should happen sooner rather than at WrestleKingdom. I don’t think Liger wants to go out as Kishin. Jushin is how he should retire against someone on friendlier terms, meaning the bloodbath might happen at King of Pro Wrestling, the same show that’ll also have Okada defending the title against SANADA. All in all, New Japan is fixing to have a hot end of the year.

Don’t Touch the Wrestlers, Pt. 34,569, or Change Has To Come from Within

Banks should be able to wrestle without someone touching her, but the problem is deeper than wrestling
Photo Credit: WWE.com

In case you missed it, and judging by the declining number of subs for the WWE Network, you may have, Sasha Banks was accosted, or at least attempted to be accosted by a fan at Clash of Champions. As she and Becky Lynch brawled in the crowd, Lynch threw her back into the ringside area over the barricade. As Banks flew over the guard barrier, a male fan reached over and attempted to touch her butt. Content warning, I’m going to post the video, so if you have bad memories of people trying to touch or successfully touching you, I wouldn’t play it:

Every couple of months, you have to remind the fans at-large that they’re not supposed to touch the wrestlers or verbally abuse them. It happened in Mexico with Scarlett Bordeaux getting unwantedly hugged by an overzealous AAA fan, and it almost happened again here. The common thread was that in both cases, it was a dude trying to get sexual thrills by violating a female wrestler’s personal space and body autonomy. Women, people in general, only want to be touched in a sexual manner when they consent to it. They can’t consent to a fan putting their grubby hands on them in the heat of the moment when they, the wrestler, have their attention placed on the match they’re trying to work.

The attitude is not limited to wrestling fans. Ask a woman, any woman, and odds are they’ve been on the receiving end of an unwanted grope, someone touching their body that took the woman by surprise and without her consent. It happens in schools, locker rooms, transit systems, even out in the open. People who don’t respect boundaries are everywhere, and it’s ingrained in their minds that they’re in the right. They’re not assaulting someone. They’re taught that it’s just them “shooting their shot.” The best example of something in popular culture condoning this behavior is in Billy Madison. The kids dare Billy, played by Adam Sandler, to touch Veronica Vaughn’s boobs (Vaughn played by Bridgette Wilson). He first remarks “That’s assault, brotha” before agreeing to do it if he was “double-dog dared.” He followed through, and Vaughn seemed to play it off with no real repercussions to Billy (the two ended up together at the end of the movie).

So, if everyone says it’s okay to sexually harass a person minding their own business or doing their job, why should anyone, the person in the video or otherwise, do anything else? Whether you believe it or not, the established code of conduct rewards creeps under the guise of being bold or “shooting their shot.” If they can do so to a random woman on the street, the next level up is to try it with a celebrity to see if it works. Thus you have the fan in Mexico trying to take Bordeaux home with her and the guy from Sunday trying to touch Banks’ behind.

It can seem futile to shout #MeToo to the wrestling industry when people seem not to want to address it in real life. For example, supposed opposition leaders who theoretically care for women are opposed to making someone accused of sexual misconduct face some kind of consequence for it. No one with power cares about people, and the only way to change that is to fight to get people in power who do. Until then, the best thing to do is to keep ostracizing creeps like the guy from Sunday night. He shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a live wrestling show, and Banks is apparently going to sue him. It’s not much in this world where the underdogs are marginalized people and their opponents are favored by a billion points. But it’s a start.

MDKing of Trios

MDK BABY
Graphics via ChikaraPro.com

The sixteenth team for King of Trios has been announced. I speculated that it might be the Proteus Wheel or a Whisper-led counter-Crucible team, and hoped that it might be the Minnesota Wrecking Zoo. The trio that was announced, however, was so much different, and to be honest, so, so, SO much better. Nick Gage will make his King of Trios debut, leading his Nerder Death Kill tag partner Thomas Santell and fellow Beyond Wrestling Uncharted Territory stalwart Kris Statlander into battle. Santell is no stranger to Chikara, competing under his prior alias, Antonio “The Promise” Thomas. He drank some Ovaltine, found a sweater, and is now wholesome and also more technically grounded. Statlander has become one of the hottest properties in indie wrestling in addition to being perhaps the best unsigned wrestler out there. One can question how long she will remain unsigned at this rate, but the longer the big companies hold out, the better it is for indie fans.

Gage, however, is the main event. He’s not a stranger to Chikara at all, which is a hilarious thing to say. His dalliances had been confined to wrestling for Beyond Wrestling’s partisans during the two promotions’ feud last year. He left with unfinished business, as at Cibernetico last year, he cut the tail off the Proletariat Boar of Moldova. That business will probably stay unfinished, since Boar has been estranged from Chikara over the last year. Pity, I loved the Boar. Anyway, regardless of how shocking it is or not, it’s still an incredible pairing. Gage has lost little of his steam since coming back from his second stint in jail (which was for bullshit, by the way), which is pretty rare.

One more bit of news, last week, I mentioned that Boomer Hatfield would be pulling double duty at Trios. That statement was factually incorrect. When Boomer entered Trios with father Dasher and cousin Molly McCoy, he forfeited his slot in Rey de Voladores. That takes a little more drama out of his weekend, but Chikara does what Chikara does, and it’ll probably turn out okay. Alex Zayne and Cajun Crawdad, however, will still compete in the eight-wrestler mini-tournament that will take place over the second and third nights of action. The third night of the tournament also has a ten-team tag team gauntlet, and the first two pairs have been announced, and neither are surprising. The first two in are Los Ice Creams. The Chikara staples will look to win their second tag gauntlet; they won at the infamous English Trios in 2017. The second team are former Campeones de Parejas, the Closers. Rick Roland and Sloan Caprice will look to get on the fast track to getting those titles back by winning the gauntlet and taking the points at stake. Each win is worth a point, so theoretically, a team that starts out can get nine points if they run the table.

Team MDK completes the slate for Trios this year. The other 15 teams can be found right here:

  • Team Pump (Scott Steiner, Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams)
  • The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Adam Hoffman, Jack Bonza)
  • The Carnies (Kerry Awful, Nick Iggy, Tripp Cassidy)
  • The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, Sal Rinauro)
  • The VeloCities (Mat Diamond, Jude London, Paris DeSilva)
  • Team FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, Travis Huckabee)
  • The Crucible (Ophidian, Kimber Lee, Lance Steel)
  • The Creatures of the Deep (Oceanea, Merlok, Hermit Crab)
  • The Colony (Fire Ant, Green Ant, Thief Ant)
  • The Crucible II (Matt Makowski, Devantes, EM DeMorest)
  • Three Queens (Solo Darling, Willow Nightingale, Freddie Mercurio)
  • The Quack Pack (Mike Quackenbush, Rob Killjoy, Lance Lude)
  • The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked, Frightmare, Kobald)
  • The Fightin’ Hatfield Family (Dasher Hatfield, Boomer Hatfield, Molly McCoy)
  • Team Juke Joint (Lucas Calhoun, Stray Kat, Missile Assault Man)

King of Trios takes place in Reading, PA at the Goodwill Beneficial Association October 4-6. October 4, you will see all eight first round matches, a show packed wall-to-wall with trios action. October 5 is the big day, and a big day needs a big breakfast (not Baron Corbin). That’s why King of Brunches will start first in the morning. Seating is limited, so inquire now. Later in the afternoon is Fan Conclave where you can play games and hang out with your favorite Chikara wrestlers. Then, the evening holds the second card, with four quarterfinal matches, two exciting four-way Rey de Voladores eliminators, and a battle between master and student, as BLANK battles the Young Lions Cup holder, Still Life with Apricots and Pears. Then, on October 6, you get the semifinal and final matches of Trios, the final match of Rey de Voladores, the tag gauntlet, and a few more tasty treats for your viewing pleasure.

Sasha Banks Vs. The Reporters

Banks refuted a bad dirtsheet report that you should’ve sniffed out as phony from the get-go
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Sasha Banks returned from her what is now known as a self-imposed hiatus from WWE the night after SummerSlam. While she was gone, people went on rumors and whispers thinking she was unhappy with the company. It turns out that wasn’t the case, for better or worse. Even I bought the rumors to an extent. However, one of the more pernicious whispers said that she left in a hissy-fit after carrying on along with Bayley on the locker room and hotel room floors because they were booked to lose the Women’s Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania. The two proponents of that report were Pro Wrestling Sheet’s Ryan Satin and self-styled wrestling scoopster at-large, Brad Shepard.

Banks made no overtures to confirm or deny those reports until an episode of Chronicle aired on WWE Network Saturday night for the first time. Banks spoke on the supposed incident and asked for the people who reported on it to produce video or audio proof. It was an emphatic denial. Satin at the time claimed that “a few sources” told him. If I had to guess, it was Lana and Alexa Bliss who gave that info, but that’s only as speculative as the reports about Banks and Bayley after their Mania loss.

Now, the converse of the issue isn’t that maybe Satin and Shepard were right, but that this is another case of a person with more power and influence punching down at people who aren’t worth the time of day, much like when Peyton Royce rallied the troops to dump on Dave Meltzer when he said WWE pushed her to “be hotter” before she made the main roster and then commented on the change in look. Honestly, I don’t see it as similar to that situation, although Meltzer’s lack of awareness was bound to get him in trouble sooner rather than later. It’s just a shame it was in that situation and not from when he along with Jim Ross callously accused Tomoaki Honma’s partner of making up abuse allegations.

In this case, Satin and ESPECIALLY Shepard have track records of targeting POC and female wrestlers for no other reason than bigotry. Satin’s coverage of WWE is way more access-based than anyone except perhaps another stooge in Justin Barrasso. Also, he was one of the cavalry coming to the defense of Michael Elgin when the person he abused and that one of his students raped came looking for justice. Shepard, on the other hand, is way out of pocket on his bullshit. As far back as 2016, he went in on Kofi Kingston celebrating a milestone because he thought Kingston was playing “the race card.” In recent history, he’s come down hard on women’s wrestling, criticizing WWE’s push of it, not for reasons like “they’re not serious about it” and “it feels like tokenism,” but “women are inferior and boring.” And what does he have to hang his hat on? Breaking the return of the XFL? A football league? He’s got a worse track record than literally anyone who self-styles as a reporter.

But what is the value of a wrestling report? A certain sect of Wrestling Twitter gives so much respect and credence to reporting that is only accurate when reporting on things the companies give as press releases, and better preference is given to having it first rather than having it right. It’s how Shepard can use getting one non-wrestling piece of news concerning a wrestling personality to catapult himself to being a newsman who basically only uses his bully pulpit to spew grotesque sexism. Is that really what should really have value? If Shepard were right more than once every never, would his ghastly opinions be more valid? This is a question some people have to ask themselves.

That’s the biggest reason why Banks potentially punching down in this case might not be the worst thing. Then again, she didn’t mention the people by name. Even if she did, would a dogpile on a gross misogynist like Shepard, who doubled down on bashing Banks in his response and slammed Satin for issuing an apology, be such a bad thing? The worst thing would be Banks using the media arm of a company that has done things a billion times worse than even Shepard has done, and I get that. I also like seeing gross people get what’s coming to them. Maybe it’s for the best that Banks didn’t mention him by name. Maybe Shepard will catch a ban from Twitter or something else that he deserves.

The reality is that the people running news sites and reporting on wrestling don’t do a good enough job to be as transparently awful as people, but then again, how much do you have to get right to warrant the levels of putridity that someone like Shepard displays on a regular basis? How many stories do you have to break in order to get a pass for enabling an abuser and the rapist he’s protecting like Satin? The real answer is nothing excuses that, but sadly, if you tell people what they want to hear in terms of “backstage gossip,” those levels of accuracy can fall way lower than 100 percent. Still, the fact that they’d bite on an obviously phony-sounding story about two POC female wrestlers shows their asses a lot, and it shows the asses of everyone who bought it without question as a smear of either one of those two wrestlers.

Follow-Up: CazXL Doesn’t Remember

CazXL needs more help than he let on
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So yesterday, I let y’all know that CazXL/Big Cass was combative backstage at the WrestlePro show this past weekend, not just with Joey Janela, but also with Pat Buck. As it turns out, there’s more to the story. Apparently, after getting knocked to the ground by Buck, Cass asked him why Buck had hit him, and it wasn’t a statement of disbelief. According to reports, he didn’t remember much about the incidents the next day.

The short-term memory loss can be explained away with two reasons, neither of them good. Either it’s a symptom of head trauma or he was under the influence. Both are likely, given that the former is a consequence of his profession, and the latter is something he admitted to needing to get under control. Either way, it shows he needs to stay away from the business for a long enough time to get his life back under his own control, ESPECIALLY if it’s substance abuse. It’s at that point where instead of talking to him to come back to NXT that Paul Levesque and Vince McMahon should maybe be looking into putting Cass in rehab.

The more and more that comes out about Cass, the more readily apparent it is that the dude is not well. At this point, promoters and bookers who take him on their card are complicit in his downward spiral. He’s gotta get out of the wrestling business, at least temporarily, and he shouldn’t return until he’s well. If that’s in a month, a year, or never, well, that’s up to him. But he has to get right. Whatever’s in his envelope isn’t worth the early grave. Look, I know he’s not the most popular guy in wrestling, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to die early. He’s gotta get help, and honestly, if McMahon and Levesque don’t get it to him, it’s at least partially on them.

The Wrestling Blog’s OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 16, 2019

Smoke a whole carton for a legend
Photo Credit: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Welcome to a feature I like to call “Best in the World” rankings. They’re not traditional power rankings per se, but they’re rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it’s bottled water or something else really common. They’re rankings decided by me, and don’t you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here’s this week’s list:

1. Ric Ocasek (Last Week: Not Ranked) – The Cars’ frontman died last night at the age of 75. In addition to fronting one of the most iconic rock acts ever and writing a good bit of the band’s songs, Ocasek was an accomplished producer. Do you like Weezer when they were good? Yeah, Ocasek produced their debut album. His band’s songs were the soundtrack to many people’s lives, and they still resonate today. Rest in peace to an utter titan of music.

2. Cain Velasquez (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Most MMA guys coming into wrestling play up their background. It’s a satisfying style, sure, but it’s Rookie Mode. Cain Velasquez? He’s going All-Madden mode. He continued the path he forged from TripleMania at the AAA New York Invasion event last night by doing all kinds of lucha. The kicker is the guy who made hay as a heavyweight in the UFC is flying around the ring like El Hijo del Vikingo and doing a pretty good job at it. Now that’s impressive.

3. Carson Wentz (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Okay, so the Eagles lost last night, and part of that reason is because Wentz was, in a word, shitty in the first half. That being said, after all his receivers got hurt and he had to climb out of a double-digit deficit in the second half, he led the team with amazing throws, Houdini-esque escapes from pressure, and stunning leadership. You learn things in defeat, and aside from learning that Isaac Seumalo is a sieve and that the defense having to blitz to get pressure is not good, that Wentz is THAT guy.

4. Maki Itoh (Last Week: 4) – Hey, she’s in Spain this week. Maybe she’ll learn a new word like tapas or caca.

5. Brazilian Steakhouse (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING – It is, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the pinnacle of eating. People come to your table with sizzling hot meat on swords, and you can go get as much exquisite appetizers you want at the salad bar. What is there not to love about this? Unless you’re vegan, then I understand. But then again, they have rodizio-style pineapple too. Just sayin’.

6. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 2) – Pfft, whatever, man.

7. Garrett Shrader (Last Week: Not Ranked) – If football doesn’t pan out for this guy, he has a place in the wrestling business the way he bumped off this tackle.

8. Patrick Mahomes (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Not many players in any sport but basketball can have a singular impact in a short amount of time. Mahomes is one of them. His Kansas City team was down 10-0 to the Raiders after one quarter of play. At halftime? Kansas City was up 28-10, which would end up as the final score. In the second quarter, Mahomes had four touchdown passes, the shortest of which was 27 yards. In addition, he threw for 289 yards in that short timeframe. More than a few QBs can’t do that in a single game. Holy shit.

9. Killer Kross (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Look, it takes brass ones to call out Batista on a relatively small indie show compared to the gigs he’s getting nowadays. Hell, I’m not even talking WWE. Batista is a full-fledged movie star who has a recurring role in the biggest thing in movies nowadays. If he pulls it off and gets him for a match? Well, he’d be the most successfully bold guy in wrestling history.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) – Oney Lorcan is here for porkin’, even if Ken Shamrock isn’t.